I am worried about my sister...any advice?

My baby sister, was diagnosed with Aspeger's Syndrome when she was about 6. My mother explained why my sister would do certain things and why she always stayed in her room. My mother told me, "You have to go into her world and bring her out." So, I liked animals, she liked animals. She liked to draw, I liked to draw. We got along good. When my mom got frustrated with her about crying about not being able to do homework, I stepped in and gave my mom a break. I'm 25 and she's 18 now, but I left home when I was 15. We have a brother who's 17 and another sister who is 22. I always came home to visit, but don't know much about everything that went on while I was gone. She's had 3 dads, one didn't want anything to do with her, the two she really loved - one passed away in 1997 and the other about a month ago. The past few years she has been treated for "generalized anxiety" and "depression." The treatment was off and on because she said she didn't need the medication. In July of last year, she ran away and I was the one she called. She just had her 18th birthday the month before. I went and got her at her friend's apartment. She's been living with me ever since.

She was held back a year in school, so she's now in her last year of high school. I've been trying to help her find a part-time job, but she makes every excuse in the book. She takes web design classes, so I was in the processes of starting a web design business, since we make a great team. I noticed she was taking way too long on certain things, so I looked into the computer history and found conversations she'd been having with men. In these conversations, she's given out our address, phone number... always telling them to come by or call during the hours I'd be at work. She'd get home from school around 3:30 and I wouldn't be home till close to 7. When I said something to her, she yelled at me about invading her privacy, but what was I supposed to do. She eventually became members to certain sites that allowed her to post nude photos of herself. The computer saved the username and password which was how I'd gained access. I deleted the account and told her. She said she didn't care, she had other photos. It didn't matter if I would have told her no more computer because she has access in her web design class at school and he teacher wasn't responding to my emails. She's also been writing/typing up pornographic stories.

She started lying about where she'd been and where she was going. I had told her she was and A-B student, I didn't want to see any C's, D's, of F's on her report cards. She got a C in Math last report card and I told her she had to bring it up by this report card, but she didn't, so I sat down with her two night's ago and laid down the rules. I had already written an email to her guidance counselor at school explaining the situation, but I haven't told my sister, yet.

1. No more computer.
2. No going anywhere this week. (Spring Break)
3. I'm getting her a tutor for Math since she says she's not understanding it.
4. No more stories.

She started cursing, yelling, saying she was just going to break all my rules. If she didn't write her stories, she'd start cutting herself. Went to her room and slammed the door.

The next morning, I was going to take her to the park and take some pretty pictures of her for the computer. My mom told me my sister has extremely low self-esteem, so the day before I took her out to get new clothes, because the ones she has have holes everywhere. When we had gotten home, I told her I would trade the new clothes for the old clothes, she was angry about it, but she did give me the old clothes. When I tired talking to her about the night before, she said she didn't care what I had to say, she hated me, her life sucks so bad she's just going to kill herself, etc. I called my other sister and really wanted to talk to my mom, but it was exactly 1 month to the day my mother's husband died, so she's wasn't doing to good. I told my sister what was going on and my mother, sister, brother in law, and nephew we're here within 45 minutes. My mother and sister went in to try and talk to her, but she acted the same way to them. It was like she had hit her boiling point, only it was all because of her own actions. I know the characteristics of AS and have always kept them in mind when talking with her. I had never seen her like this. At first, we called an officer to come out, just to calm her down, but by the time he got there, she cursed at him telling him to stop asking questions and take her wherever he was going to take her. My mother and sister filled out statements and the officer left to Baker Act my sister, my mom went home, and my sister and her family went fishing. (are family has done this before, but not with her)

Now, I have been up since yesterday. I have called all the numbers the officer left. I don't know what to do. What will happen to her? Will she come home? No one is telling me anything. Should I trying and become her guardian legally since she's "disabled" so I have the authority to have her go to continue help when she gets out? When does she get out? How will I know she's out? WHAT HAPPENS NOW????

*If something in my post offended anyone, I truly am sorry. It wasn't my intention.*

Sounds abit like she's having meltdowns - stressed and dunno how to respond to it.

I usually don't take any offence when talking to other aspies on the internet, even though they might throw personal attacks now and then.

I know what you are feeling exactly.
I am 25 years old and my sister also has aspergers I am a grad student and live with my family and my sister who is 17 always has meltdowns it is very draining emotionally and mentally to our family especially to my mother and myself who deal with her the most.
You may want to search for a residential treatment center or school where they can help her by teaching her and adjusting her to life as a young adult before it gets worse, we are trying to do the same and you must act quickly or she will get worse her behavior will get more destructive to herself and others.
Here are some options

http://www.brevardcen...

http://www.iser.com/a...

Good Luck

I'm sorry to be rude. I have had AS all my life and this is the problem with NTs trying to "fix" our problems. We don't need "fixing", we don't need your "help", and we certainly don't want you ending any semblance of a life we might be trying to hold onto.

The nude pictures... the strange men on the internet... That has to stop immediately. It is of the utmost concern to all autistic individuals including myself to never interact with any stranger who may utilize the upper hand he or she has. I have ran into it myself with molesters and perverts... But I had a rough life and fags trying to rape me didn't bother me any. I'd have slit their throat if they had tried to stick it in my ass.

Really now... you're a fool. A big fool. You claim you're her sister but are usurping the natural balance of life. As an adult, she may have every intention of sleeping with older men... but not in your house, not in your bed, and not anywhere at your address. That is reasonable. But to mother her and take from her what she sees as a semblance of livelihood is the most foolish thing you could ever do.

And I feel like I'm speaking on behalf of everyone who knows a god damn thing about anything, this Baker Act and involuntary confinement is worse than death. If she must die, allow her to die with dignity and pride. It is the way of the Autistics. We will not submit to your authority, we won't submit to your forced druggings and inhuman treatment of us. We will gladly live our lives in peace and never harm anyone, we expect you to do the same and leave us the hell alone.

I lived on the streets using drugs for most of 2006-2007 living in my car. I assure you, the drug dealers, the rapists, the murderers, gang members, and street thugs were much more gracious than perhaps any cop or psychiatrist I have ever met. If she chooses that path, it will be up to her to decide to turn away from it, because like everyone who's come before her, she will. It is only then at the depths of poverty and destitution will she submit to the balance of life and hopefully become a productive member of society.

But you must go down before you can come back up. Give her the freedom she needs and let her know you love her and are there for her.

You may want to search for a residential treatment center or school where they can help her by teaching her and adjusting her to life as a young adult before it gets worse, we are trying to do the same and you must act quickly or she will get worse her behavior will get more destructive to herself and others.

Must act quickly? Why? What authority do you have to say this? Do you know anything about psychiatry?

Have you ever thought how much her illness was emotionally troubling and mentally draining to her, compounded with fools in her life who know nothing about her but try to "help" her and "fix" her because God knows she's not normal, so we'll turn her into a robot and make her just like us.

You know what? You lose every time at that game with people like us...

That is the game you people play. You try to fix what is not broken. I'm tired of it.

You've taken up too much of this burden yourself. Your mother has to be the one shouldering the responsibility, and if she isn't, you have to confront her. The more you take on, the more she might slack off.
As for your sister, ask the police for help keeping the men away from the house, and have the sites blocked from your computer. If she's over 18, then she's an adult. But if it's your computer and you're paying for the internet service, then you're the one to dictate. Besides, nobody should be playing around on the web while they're supposed to be working.

Sometime you need to step back and let the person figure it all out. You can't keep her on a leash. She may have to learn the hard way; it's called TOUGH LOVE. But tell her you'll be there to help if she decides she wants to do the right thing.

I would seek Gaurdianship since your mother has not. It will protect her in many ways. Now in mental health issues it does not allow you to commit her anywhere ( Federal Laws) but it will allow you to know all that is going on. If you do not then the state could take custody Adult Protective Services.

Sheri Madaris
find me on my space

You may want to search for a residential treatment center or school where they can help her by teaching her and adjusting her to life as a young adult before it gets worse, we are trying to do the same and you must act quickly or she will get worse her behavior will get more destructive to herself and others.

Must act quickly? Why? What authority do you have to say this? Do you know anything about psychiatry?

Have you ever thought how much her illness was emotionally troubling and mentally draining to her, compounded with fools in her life who know nothing about her but try to "help" her and "fix" her because God knows she's not normal, so we'll turn her into a robot and make her just like us.

You know what? You lose every time at that game with people like us...

That is the game you people play. You try to fix what is not broken. I'm tired of it.

Yes AS of course emotionally troubling and mentally draining to her and to all with AS I also have AS, it seems you are angry because of you past experiences. But everyone with AS is different like I posted a about year ago about my sister who's AS is at a different spectrum I do have authority to say this from my experience, my sister who is now 18 almost 19 is in her second year in a University and has been able to understand and adapt to her AS as it evolves and changes and just is even though it is a constant learning experience of her AS. It is not about fixing anything, and if that's what your impression was perhaps my words were not clear, its about understanding AS and being able to live a life that is productive and positive to you.